Worlds Apart
by Blackhart568
Summary: I was a shell of my former self,unwanted, unloved and nearly on the brink of death. And then he woke me up and showed me otherwise, I am loved, I am needed, I am beautiful. I'm Bella Swan, and I'm taking my life back. Bella/Carlisle.
1. Chapter 1

Bella's P.O.V.

I could feel his hands, sweaty and hot from the heat in the air, lips skimming my back. I don't react; I can't, in fear that I'll meet the blows of his fist. So I close my eyes, just a bit longer I remind myself- always a bit longer. I stay frozen my fist clenching and unclenching, _just a bit longer_. His hands are all over me, his body atop of mine, his hot breath blowing on my face. Just a bit longer.

Grunts fill the air, the bed shakes and I squish my eyes close. Good memories. Think of good memories. It'll all be over soon, I chant. Think of the good times. Good times. Good times. But they don't come; they never do.

It hurts- I hurt. Everything hurts. My heart, my body, my soul. I feel as if I have nothing to live for, I miss that feeling. Someone used to make me feel that way but I can't remember, I can't feel. I even pray to god sometimes, always asking him for some emotion, some memory. Sometimes they come in short abrupt scenes, other times they never appear and I'm left to wonder. Who am I?

Shots echo around me and interrupt my thoughts, I'm scared but don't act upon the feeling. _Don't move, don't speak, make no eye contact_. The words are drilled into my head. Cold fingers are skimming my skin, and I shiver from the touch. The voice calls out name…

_"Bella" _

And I listen for a response, but she doesn't answer. The voice is gentle and sounds like tinkling bells. So very beautiful.

_"Bella"_

And still the girl does not answer. Who is this Bella?

Why Bella? Why aren't you answering him?

_Bella._ She must be beautiful.

Carlisle's P.O.V.

"Carlisle?" a small voice asks shyly and I raise my head and acknowledge her with a smile. Her heart skips a beat and I fight back a chuckle at her adorableness. A pink crimson blush stains her milky cheeks and she steps into my study fidgeting.

Closing the door softly she steps my way her head ducked and hair covering the red hue covering her cheeks and I stopped myself from pushing it behind her ears. Her fists clench and unclench, a nervous habit of hers.

She bit her lip and tugged it with her teeth, running a hand through her hair. The air from outside blows her scent towards me and I breathe it in. Perfect. Delicious. She didn't smell of freesia or strawberries as Edward and the family so often commented, her scent was of honey and vanilla a fragrance I had loved in my human years.

It had been a few days since Jaspers attack on Bella and everyone had been very cautious and distant. They thought they hid it well but I knew Bella better than that, she was too smart. She saw the distance Edward had been putting between them and she feared the worst. As she should.

"Your leaving," she sighed softly and smiled sadly at me, and I knew she knew. This smart beautiful human knew what was to come and yet she stood strong and tall. I admired her greatly for that and hated Edward for what he was going to do to the girl. I didn't want to leave her but with only Emmett and Alice on my side it was inevitable. Their vote outweighed ours.

And I felt mad that this girl who had become part of our family had been put to a vote, that she was not there to stand for herself, to a least let Edward see the craziness in this plan of his. And looking into her Brown knowing eyes I felt shame, a shame that would never disappear. This picture of her right now, doe eyes sad and accepting shoulders sagged in defeat, would haunt for the rest of eternity.

"Just promise," she clenched her fists and then unclenched them, "promise that you'll never forget," how could I? How could forget her? This woman who had marked herself in all our hearts. I brushed my thumb against her cheek and smiled softly…

"Never".

And then she left. It could have been hours, days, years that I sat in my chair and looked at the door she had left through, for me time was endless. The study that had felt warm and cozy now seemed cold and frigid.

I walked out the room and breathed in the air. Her scent filled every corner of the room, from the top to the bottom of the house. I laid my hand on the rail, the warmth of her hand still there. The string that had held our family was gone and I would watch as my family fell apart. It was our own doing. And now I felt… I needed… I wanted her. I wanted her to come back, I needed her.

But I could never have her.

A/N: Hoped you liked it please comment and tell me how you feel about it. Should I continue or not? Was it good or bad? Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's P.O.V.

I could hear the music playing softly in the background, the hum caressed my skin with vibrations and I shivered in delight. I could hear the laughter… his laughter. Oh it was so beautiful, like music to my ears.

_He spun us in circles smiling softly down at me, eyes warm pools of amber. We swayed to the soft jazzy music, and all my worries seemed to vanish. I could hear the voices of the rest of the family in the background but it soon faded. Only he could do this to me- make me feel at peace even in the worst of moments. _

_ "You're a natural," he whispered lowly in my ear. I protested with an unladylike snort, shaking my head in denial. The only thing keeping me from falling was his hands that gripped my waist. He spun me around in circles and I laughed in delight. Light from the chandelier shined upon his skin and I found myself stroking his ivory colored skin._

_ No one else mattered in that moment. It was only him, the music, and I- Paradise. I laid my head against his shoulder, inhaling his scent and hoping no one else had noticed. I felt this connection with him, something inside me tugged every time I saw him and cried with joy. And when he would turn to her it would cry out in pain. This feeling towards him was… wonderful yet excruciating at the same time. _

_ I wanted him… I needed him._

_ But I could never have him._

Carlisle's P.O.V

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever prepare me for what I had come face to face only hours ago. The image sickening as it was stuck in my head and I desperately wished it would just leave. I could smell the blood flowing through her veins; hear the pounding of her heart filling the quiet room. She was small and frail and I feared if I touched her she would break, the thought was heartbreaking.

I could taste her fear on the tip of my tongue and flinched when she cried out at my touch. I had, no we had, done this to her. Gone was the Bella we had come to know five years ago in her place lay a broken scared woman. I wanted to blame this all on Edward but I didn't stop it.

A part of me had thought leaving her was for the best, we were a danger to her, but now I wondered if that was truly the best choice. The pain I felt at seeing her huddled in that bed almost brought me to my knees. The feelings I had for her were not fatherly I couldn't deny that, they were more what a man feels for a woman he aches for. I didn't mean it in any sexual way more like my heart, no heart, ached for her.

She stirred in her sleep and I paused my thinking. Her heart had calmed down and a smile graced her beautiful lips. I wondered what had brought such a thing on but I wasn't complaining. It was nice to see a smile after all the cries of anguish. These past hours had been torture.

The man I had found on top of her was dead by my own hands and I found myself frowning at that. I had always cherished human lives, even the most gruesome of them, but seeing her like- scared and sad, made me see red. How dare he use her body like that? I hadn't even regretted it afterwards.

At times like this I wish I had my family but I made my choice and she hers. The heartbreak I had felt, the anger, the rage… no I don't think I would ever go back to them. _Her_ betrayal I understood it but that didn't mean I was very happy about it. Esme, the name brought a flash of irritation. She could have resisted the pull, I had. I had resisted and lost the thing that had mattered most all just to protect her feelings, yet she did not have the same courtesy.

But I regret our parting words, , such harsh words…

I remember it vividly…

_"I'm so sorry Carlisle," I shook my head shrugging her off when she grabbed onto my arm. The movement caused her to stumble back and fall onto the ground, but at the moment I didn't feel like being a gentleman. I was done thinking only of others, putting others before me, and leaving myself in heartache._

_ "I lost everything," I roared, throwing the nearest thing at the wall. But that did not sustain my anger and I flipped my desk over. It had been a year that Bella had left, a year of heartache and confusion. "She was my everything and I lost her all because I had worried about you," I spat the word in distaste._

_ Feet ran towards the study but I didn't look up to face them. In my eyes they all betrayed me, they knew. Family, no this was no family. It was wrong of me to think our kind could even be capable of a human charade. What part of us was human? The one that drank blood, killed for the fun, put fear into the eyes of others. I was done._

_ "I'm leaving," the room was quiet and I found everyone looking down in shame and in that moment I wanted them to suffer, feel the heart ache I felt every day. Edwards reading my mind shook his head in disbelief and furrowed his eyebrows._

_ "Can you be so blind," I thought to him, "I loved her, and you threw her away like a doll. I despise every one of you. I sacrificed my love for you, my supposed family. No more. We, this family, are no more. Keep the name but the love I had for all of you is gone."_

_ "I'm so sorry," he cried out but I shook my head and gave him a glare. They weren't sorry, no one was sorry. They were all selfish creatures thinking of themselves only and I wished them the worst of lives. I wanted to be sorry for everything but I couldn't deny this was how I felt._

_ "Your mate must be waiting for you," I sneered at the woman I had called wife, waving her off with the flick of my wrist but she sat there shaking her head in denial._

_ "It cannot end like this," she cried out to me and I gazed at her with anger. She had chosen this ending, she had betrayed me, it was not my fault that it had ended like this._

_ "I gave up my love for you all, but most of all for you," I stared at Esme, " You don't care for me, if you had you would know that I had been suffering, if you cared you would have resisted such temptation as I had. Losing her was not worth it, and I wish I could redo everything, I wish you could feel the pain I am feeling."_

_ The next day I left._

_ That was the last time I saw them._

A/N: Hope you liked it I worked really hard on this chapter, and I know that Carlisle would never act that way but I guess that's why it's called Fan fiction. I know he seemed a little harsh but I mean come on, what would you do if your mate of like a billion years cheated on you? Anyway Carlisle does miss them and does regret his last words but it was a spur of the moment thing. Thanks for reading and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's P.O.V.

_ I wiped away the tears streaming down my face as I drove away from the large Victorian mansion. No use in crying over what was never yours Bella, I told myself. But it hurt, this pain I felt in my chest, like something was repeatedly stabbing my heart. Losing someone will do that to you, I closed my eyes._

_ I remembered Carlisle's face as I told him I knew the truth. Sad, remorseful, angered. I just thought that maybe he of all people would stick up for me, that he would tell the family that I was important. But I suppose like the rest of them he was not the man I made him out to be._

_ I couldn't go back to Charlie, not like this- snot running down my nose and tears staining my shirt. I couldn't hurt him anymore than I had already had, he deserved better. Everyone did. I had given up my life for them, and they did this to me- abandoned me in my time in need. _

_ Forget them, I told myself; if they can let you go so easily you can do the same. Let them go, I pleaded with myself. I couldn't. I could never forget them or him, the soft gentle smiles or tender touches. How could one forget the ones they claimed to love so easily?_

_ I looked back one last time. Beautiful, I hated it with all my heart. That house where I first met them all, the house where my heart belonged, that house where I was suppose to spend eternity with them. I'd once dreamed of calling it home but now all I had to say to it was…_

_ Goodbye._

Carlisle's P.O.V.

My nonexistent heart gave a thump when she grabbed for my hand- so tender and soft. My beautiful Bella, how I've missed her so much. These years without her had been torture, a pain that haunted me night and day. Everywhere I looked there she was, and when I reached out she'd vanish. It was like someone was playing a game with my heart, my head. Dangling something I craved in front of me then taking it back before the tips of my fingers could touch it. Such torture, such pain.

But here she was. After all these years she lay before me, not the same person but nerveless the same. Scars covered her but made her the more beautiful. My Bella, so strong. The man… that man who had his hands on her, he deserved it. He deserved the death he had gotten and yet I felt guilty. I had taken a human life, the first ever. I claimed to have this love for them and here I was, a hypocrite, taking a life without thought_. Monster_, a voice screamed at me.

I shivered. I had killed something I vowed to protect. A sense of guilt enveloped me and I shook my head. The worst part was I had enjoyed every second of it. His screams, his pleas, his fear. They intoxicated me like a drug and I couldn't get enough of it. The monster part of me had thrived on his fear. I was so close to draining him, of letting years of practice slip in a moment of pure rage. But then I remembered Bella and that she needed attention. But that didn't stop me from killing him, it didn't stop me from crushing his fingers and snapping his neck.

I found myself curling my cold arms around her. Finally I thought with a smile. Finally I've found you.

My Bella.


End file.
